Bad, bad post

"You were the reason I kept my eyes averted from the unofficial canteen of the college. I used to ask my friends to check whether the field was clear and resorted to all kinds of shenanigans to avoid you. Inherent dislike, I told them. But I think it was fear...-ish.

Or maybe contempt, at that time. I considered anyone who puffed on the magic dragon to be a coward. A rich loser. The fact that you were popular made it all the easier to hate you. But hate & contempt doesn't usually make one avoid the subject of hate.

No, I think I was afraid. In my mind, I was completely convinced that no amount of crap that life may hurl at you can justify any.. "sedative". But that didn't stop me from getting tempted. Sorely tempted. I don't want to compare what I was going through to your miseries. Pain probably cannot be measured and classified neatly. But the thing is, I was trying not to (pardon the cheesiness) slide down a bottomless pit, and there you were, giving step-by-step instructions on how to do it.

I remember using all my resources to come up with a thousand reasons to not do it, on particularly bad nights. I admit, hoping for all kinds of bad things to happen to you was one of my mood-lifters. You were gonna lose your hair, get all skinny, your adorable boyfriend was gonna dump you, and you were gonna OD in the rich people's rehab place.

And now, from your FB statuses, I discover that you've found God. The only argument against the "bottomless pit" which sticks for me now, is that it would be stupid to go through things without total consciousness. "Let it be raw, man!" I'm gonna yell when no one's looking.

And out of habit, I'm hoping the God you found is not the awesomeness I pray to, just some China-made fake."