Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Poem To A Man

(Picture from ~llparazitell )

I’m not “asking for it”.

I’m a 21 year old single girl,
A child of no more than 10 years,
A middle-aged mother of two.
I like to party sometimes,
Or attend the evening classes
for my professional course,
Or just play in the sun & sand,
ribbons in my hair blowing in the wind.
It’s me, living my life
one step at a time,
Trying to make sense of the world-
Just like you do too.

But life in this world-
In your world?-
often seems like a game
the rules of which
apply only to me.
These rules are not written anywhere.
I come to know of them
only when I break them.
Don’t go out in the dark.
Look sharp, everyone likes a pretty face.
Don’t look “too pretty”.
Don’t smile too much.
Ignore the stares. And the whistles.
Lose weight, no one likes fat women.
And hide that slim figure when you go out.
Don’t get in crowded buses.
Don’t get in a taxi alone at night.
All of this,
just so that you
will not turn around & say,
“She was asking for it.”
I understand these rules
only when I break them.
Or do they break me?
Because none of them apply to YOU.
I have to change my habits,
My likes, my dislikes, my life-
Just because you can’t be responsible
for what you think?
You cannot “man up”
and control your head?
(And you call me the “weaker sex”.)

Keep this up,
And soon I-
Your wife, your colleague,
Your mother, your niece,
Your sister, your best buddy-
Will have a smile
that no longer reaches my eyes.
Is that what you want?
Is that what will make you happy?
Will you stop this game then?

So the next time you see me
Out on the town
having fun with my friends,
Or walking back home at night
hugging my books,
Or swinging on a swing
in a frock and two pigtails,
Or just living my life,
It’s because I hope
and I trust
that you’re not a weak wuss,
that you’re as strong
as they say you are.

I’m not “asking for it”.
Never have, never will.

*Happy Women's Day!*


  1. awessssssoooooome.....i literally got goosebumps....
    amazing work,,,keep up the good work.

  2. @sam ek aurat hi aurat ka.. lol!!

    @owais Thanks!!

  3. amazing poem buddy!
    it's strikes me right here in the heart so much that all i could do was nod fervently all through the lines and have myself swell with pride for you and shrink with pain at how true your words are.
    no one who was attacked ever asked for "it"

  4. @raphael thank u, just hope more & more people understand this.. maybe we can use some of ur mallu protest skills ;)

  5. Reminded me of that billy joel number 'always a woman' :P

    1. wow, really? most men refer to its lyrics when they want to bitch about women :\

  6. Beautiful rant . . .
    I look for that secret smile, that offhand look, that acceptance that we must get along without taking advantage of those things. They make me smile and make my day happy.
    But, you are right: the "tells" are not so easy to find these days.

    1. Thank you!
      And I hope the gods above start making them more like you :)